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Use These 6 Words to Hear ‘Yes’ More Often

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When you are in the process of persuading, remember six powerful words that will force you to link a meaningful target benefit to your request: What this means to you is … 

You can’t say it without saying something after it.

When you start to focus on your justification points for why someone should take you up on your offer, liberally use this phrase as part of your rhetoric.

Say, for example, you sell Harley-Davidson Motorcycles and are trying to explain to customers why the new Dark Custom™ series rivals the brand’s traditional bikes. Here’s a good line: “The Iron 883™ positions the Evolution engine in the nimble Sportster frame. What this means to you is you’ll be riding an iconic bike that’s dripping with power and character.”

And what this means to you is … you’ll hear “yes” more often.

If you don’t include these six words in your pitch, here’s another six words you might want to get accustomed to saying: Would you like fries with that? 

Want Your Voicemail Messages Returned? Follow These 7 Tips

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If you are currently engaged in the profession of selling and grasp even the basics of solid communication skills, you can stand out like a pro. Here are seven ways to receive a stronger response from your voicemails:

1. Be interesting, fast.

You literally have nanoseconds to get someone’s attention. Rather than leave a message that says this: “I’m just calling to follow up on our conversation,” try something like this: “Steve, Mark Rodgers, ABC Motorcycles. I received a status report on your special order, and I think you’re going to like the news. Give me a call and I’ll fill you in.”

2. Don’t rush the phone number.

One of the most frustrating things for me when retrieving voice messages is making sure I catch the callback number. You can’t always trust a cellphone’s callback option, which might register as a general number and not a direct line. When leaving your phone number in a voicemail, say the numbers singularly and slowly, and then on the second go-round, deliver the final four digits in pairs: “That’s 2-6-2, 7-5-4, ninety-six, thirty-seven.”

3. Use a cliffhanger.

You know how reality TV shows always go to commercial right before a big reveal? That device is known as a “cliffhanger” — which leads to an “I gotta know!” moment. In the previous example, the caller is teasing Steve by not revealing the good news until Steve calls him back.

4. Choose your words carefully.

Let’s go back to the example above for what not to say when leaving a message: “I’m just calling to follow up on our conversation.” Use of the word “just” diminishes the importance of your call and could make the recipient feel as if you’re calling out of obligation. Why should he or she bother to return the call if you don’t really care?

5. Ask for a specific commitment.

Think about how you can weave active and voluntary commitment into you message: “Steve, would it be OK if I follow up with you next week to see what you think about some of the options we discussed?” Asking for permission to follow up helps ensure your message will be well received and not considered an intrusion, and being specific helps the recipient focus on one thing.

6. After three, let it be.

If you’re working on an immediate objective and have left three messages for your intended target, it’s time to move on. In your final voice message, say something like this: “I’m surprised I didn’t hear back from you, as you seemed quite interested during our initial conversation. I don’t want to hound you, but know that I’m here if you need anything or want to pick up our discussion where we left it.” Then be sure to touch base with that person once a year.

7. Believe in communication karma.

Promptly return messages, and others will be more prompt when returning yours. In my consulting practice, I respond to all phone messages within one day, and usually sooner. And people return my calls, too.

How to Argue Effectively

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I remember a long-ago staff meeting in which I was asked to share my thoughts on a proposal I didn’t much care for.  I knew, though, if I blurted out something like, “I think this is a horrible idea that could potentially debilitate our market share,” I wouldn’t have done myself any favors.

So I kept my emotions in check and learned a valuable lesson about how to make a valid point in a staff meeting that can potentially change the future direction of a particular initiative.

The first step is to remain calm — unemotional, even. Don’t change your facial expression or display body language that shows you disagree with something being said. Simply and politely interject and casually reframe the issue under discussion: “If I may interject here, I think the real question we should be asking ourselves is … ”

Then provide three points supporting your position, and reinforce each one with a fact, statistic, or anecdote: “Why would we want to enter an already overcrowded marketplace with a new product that strays from what we do best? First, we’ll be behind all of the existing manufacturers in the market, and that’s not a place we’re accustomed to being. The latest user surveys suggest we are the go-to brand in all of our product categories; we won’t be with this new one. Do consumers really need or even want another choice? Research shows they already think the market is saturated. Also, some of our current customers might question why we’re moving away from our niche. We’ll be like Coors deciding to sell bottled water in the Nineties.”

Finally, make a recommendation: “I’m in favor of pouring our resources and talent into a new product that will strengthen our current market share and not erode our credibility with consumers.”

If your persuasive tactics are met with skepticism or downright ignored, bring in the heavy artillery: “Do we have data and examples that prove there is a need for the type of product you want to develop?”

If your targets are unable to come up with satisfactory answers, great. Your work here is done. But if they engage your artillery with their own, inquire about the source of that information. Perhaps the firm used to gather market research has been the target of other companies regarding its questionable data gathering.

This process works in non-meeting situations, too. Consider the people who work at a Kia dealership and need to convince BMW loyalists that Kia’s K900 luxury model (with a base price of $50,000) is an overall better value than that 528i sedan they’re driving now. Those salespeople don’t want to waste their time and energy talking about Kia’s lengthy and successful tradition of making mainstream, economy-friendly cars; they must focus on the fact that Kia is a luxury automobile maker, too, and emphasize that from visual, drivability and technological perspectives, the K900 compares favorably to the 528i. But add in options, and you’ll be paying a lot more to outfit that Bimmer with what comes standard on the K900.

How To (Successfully) Sell an Idea

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Selling an idea is a lot like making a persuasive presentation; the biggest difference is that ideas lack tangibility. You’re not soliciting donations, rallying for a raise or convincing an on-the-fence customer to choose between a Kia and a BMW. Rather, you’re making something concrete out of the abstract, which means you must instantiate to captivate.

This requires some creativity on the part of both persuader and target, so provide vivid mental imagery via storytelling to help a client, customer or colleague “see” your idea. Try these:

  • “Imagine the look on your client’s face when you tell him you can help his company double revenue and decrease expenses in 12 months.”
  • “What if I said I can help you overcome your fear of public speaking by the time you give your next presentation?”
  • “If you take the time to read this book and develop a persuasion priority, you’ll be hearing people say ‘yes’ more often than you ever thought possible.”

To help your target better “see” your ideas, it might be helpful to use images such as photographs or illustrations, double-axis charts and Venn diagrams. These can further solidify your pitched idea in the mind’s eye of your target.

Now, go persuade somebody.

How to Make a Positive (and Provocative) First Impression

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We all know that feeling of walking into a room in which we know absolutely nobody. You might think everyone is staring at you, and that could be true. In fact, they’re already forming opinions about you based on your posture, demeanor, attire, and overall appearance. That can be a harsh reality to face, especially if you’re looking back at a conference room full of expressionless members of the board of directors.

The same thing happens in networking situations, which is why you should enter a room of strangers with a minimum/maximum mindset. Develop a range of goals, which will help you survive in uncomfortable situations. For example, during a social function at an industry trade show, don’t set expectations so high (drumming up new business with everyone you meet) that you’re bound to wind up disappointed. Instead, determine that your minimum objective will be, say, to leave with at least one solid lead for a new client, while your maximum objective could be to set up a personal meeting or teleconference to hammer out details of the new business you just acquired.

To get to that point, though, you must exude confidence. So be prepared by researching your targets, developing three intriguing questions for any new person you meet  — Where are you from? How did you land in your current position? What’s your take on the new industry regulations? — and then be genuinely interested in what they say. In turn, your targets will take an interest in you and your business. Think of this counterintuitively: When they are talking, you are making a good impression.

While what you have to say and how you say it can trump the fact that you might have a pumpernickel seed stuck between your front teeth after that morning bagel, it still pays to practice sartorial persuasion. In other words, dress well. In most business situations, that means your attire when visiting an organization’s headquarters should be 10 percent more professional than what employees typically wear there to work every day. If the men dress in polo shirts and button-downs, you should wear a sport coat without a tie. If the women wear skirts and blouses, you do the same and add a blazer with a bit of jewelry. If you don’t know what the office attire is, better to err on the side of caution. Same goes for trade shows and industry gatherings.

Would you rather be overdressed or underdressed? Do you want people to think that you give your appearance thoughtful consideration? You better, because if you’re reliable in your attire, people will presume you’re also a likeable and trustworthy person to whom they can (and should) say “yes.” Remember the halo effect?

How to Win Back Credibility

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As chairman and CEO at General Electric for 20 years between 1981 and 2001, Jack Welch was known as “Neutron Jack,” because his often-draconian decisions left buildings standing but removed all the people. When GE suffered a variety of public bruisings — scandals within the multinational corporation’s credit department, price-fixing with diamonds in South Africa, money-laundering and fraud in Israel — Walsh unilaterally announced that henceforward managers not only were required to meet performance goals, but had to do so within the company’s value system. Doing one without the other would be insufficient. And, in short order, a conglomerate that manufactured everything from light bulbs to locomotives became a model company because Jack Welch had regained his, and his company’s, credibility.

“I think you know in life what’s a good thing to do and what’s a bad thing, and I did a bad thing. And there you have it,” Hugh Grant told Jay Leno in 1995 after the actor was caught with a prostitute in Los Angeles. Grant went on to become a successful leading man in Hollywood — in part, I’ll argue, because he admitted his mistake and blamed no one but himself. That’s one way to mend a credibility gap.

President Bill Clinton, another man whose moral temptations got the best of him, was impeached for inappropriate actions with an intern and then lied to Congress about his behavior. He emerged as a consensus builder and a brilliant politician.

If those guys can regain their credibility, so can you. Here are 10 steps to put you back in good graces with colleagues and associates:

1. Assess the damage.

Try to understand what really occurred, factually and perceptively, that caused you to lose credibility. Ask others if you need objective help, because you can’t afford to underestimate the damage or assume it will pass with time. The damage O.J. Simpson did to his credibility did not pass with time.

2. Start rebuilding credibility with small steps.

Engage a few people or groups at a time, focusing on low-key topics and non-controversial issues. Make sure you deliver what you promise when you promise.

3. Admit your error.

Honesty counts for a whole lot in business. Lies have no place in running an ethical operation. Lying about a mistake or passing the blame will only undo whatever credibility you’ve managed to hold onto.

4. Learn the language of apology.

Sharing information about pending and completed decisions, apologizing for mistakes, and listening to and responding to concerns, questions and comments are at the core of leadership credibility. Simply understanding the power of apologetic language is a huge recovery step.

5. Channel your inner Johnny Carson.

Johnny Carson is one of my all-time favorite American entertainers. When a guest would mention a current event or piece of knowledge outside of Johnny’s realm, the host didn’t feign understanding, try to take over the conversation, or “one up” the guest. He simply said, “I did not know that.” That’s what I say now, and so should you.

6. Understand selective memory.

Allow some events to fade. Don’t keep reminding people of previous transgressions. You may have been tipsy at an office party, but someone else probably drank a lot more than you.

7. Realize that credibility is a volume knob, not an “on/off” switch.

It’s impossible to be “mostly pregnant,” but you can be “mostly credible.” Seek success, not perfection. Think of the needle registering on a gauge: You want it to keep rising, which represents strong and steady progress. It’s doesn’t need to be revving on the red line in order to be working properly.

8. Remember that all things are relative.

Nobody is asking you to be “the most credible” person ever at your job. You simply need to be credible. It doesn’t matter if you’re the most popular guy in the office or the best-liked gal in your department, so why strive to be the most credible? Such distinctions carry little weight in most cases.

9. Conduct conversations about your lapse.

This will allow you to prove you’re in a much better place now. Just don’t raise the issue incessantly. If you’re comfortable conversing about it, you’re going to make it a topic of conversation and not a cause célèbre.

10. Shake it off.

Don’t let mistakes undermine everything you do. Ignore the “doom loop” mentality of struggling with a credibility issue or an incident that serves only to further undermine your confidence and credibility.  Let it go the way an athlete overcomes a minor injury. Don’t go running to the training room or, worse, admit yourself to the hospital.

Follow these tips, and get ready to watch your credibility climb.

Here Are Four Ways to Lose Credibility Quickly

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Now that I’ve shared four ways to boost your credibility, here are four ways to jeopardize it.

There is only one condition worse than not having credibility, and that is having had credibility and losing it. Credibility lost is extremely hard to regain, so let’s look at key causes and successful prevention techniques:

1. Your success track record ends.

When that happens, so will your credibility. You either will make continuous progress and achieve victories, or you won’t. The choice is yours.

2. You become deceitful.

Most unethical conduct is committed for the organization’s gain, not personal gain. But that doesn’t lessen the impact. “White lies” in business — unlike those in family situations, where the complete truth might significantly hurt a loved one — can be tolerated in very few situations. When someone knows that you’ve lied, that person immediately questions what else you’ve been lying about, are lying about or will be lying about. And that, friends, throws your credibility over the edge of the cliff.

3. You fail to share credit, thus undermining credibility.

That’s why I continue to emphasize accepting blame and sharing credit. It’s better to risk providing credit to even peripheral contributions than to fail to reward it for just one person.

4. Your ego becomes bigger than a balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

If you think only of, about and for yourself, that will become quickly apparent to those around you. You must demonstrate that you’re acting with others in mind via gestures of generosity that are clearly visible. A simple and public “thank you” often packs more punch than a reward handed over in the privacy of an office. There are reasons why the U.S. military puts medals on people in front of a lot of other people.

Can you return from credibility self-immolation?

It’s tough, but yes. And when you do, you’ll be joining a club of famous people who came back from the abyss to reinvent their careers and (in some cases) attain even higher heights — including Bill Clinton, Hugh Grant, Robert McNamara, Tiger Woods, and Jack Welch.

Four Ways to Elevate Your Credibility

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In a previous post, I asked about how much credibility you have. Depending on how honestly you answered that question will determine whether you keep reading this post.

Here are four ways to build more credibility in the eyes of everyone you encounter:

1. Realize that nothing breeds success like success.

Publicize your successes, but don’t boast about them. Demonstrate your triumphs, relate your victories, repeat your progress. This is what I refer to as starting small, but just because they’re small doesn’t mean they aren’t worth noting or discussing. In short: Walk the walk. In so doing, you will acknowledge others’ contributions (accept blame, share credit) and begin to mold a track record of success.

2. Create a “rational future.”

I observed Steve Ballmer, post Bill-Gates, attempt to rally the troops at Microsoft’s 25th anniversary bash in 2000, and what he intended as a show of great energy and passion came across as bizarre beserkness (which is exactly what the press reported and the investors perceived). Ballmer retired from the company in early 2014 after 14 years as CEO. A rational future has nutrients and sustainability; it’s not a sugar donut that is quite tasty when you eat it but leaves you worse off than before. Literally walking over hot coals to try to build self-esteem is like downing one giant sugar donut, because that skill (perspiring feet) has no applicability in the course of daily work or life. Thus, help people see a future with pragmatics in the present, as well as logical arguments and persuasive appeals.

3. Become clearly accessible and accountable — or, in other words, “transparent.”

I remember college professors who held regular office hours and seemed genuinely happy to welcome students, while other professors seemed to take wicked pleasure in ignoring their students. The former had far more credibility when it came to respecting their opinions and critiques. After all, people are less likely to argue with an individual who is clearly available and responsible.

4. Hang out with all-stars.

Leadership coach Marshall Goldsmith says that in order to be a thought leader, you must surround yourself with other thought leaders. The same principle applies to credibility. Find people with impressive credibility credentials within your own organization or community and align yourself with them. Learn from them and support them, and eventually you’ll become like them.

Next time, I’ll explore four ways you can easily lose credibility.

How Much Credibility Do You Have?

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Credibility cannot be achieved if you do not possess the following three attributes: expertise, track record and respect.

1. Expertise

Expertise means that you actually comport yourself as an expert. Experts’ opinions are believed and sought; they are not generally subject to quibbles or arguments. No one has ever walked up to Peter Drucker and challenged his thinking about management strategy.

You gain expertise through experiences, education, observations and boldly moving on from both your victories and your defeats. It’s fine to be defeated in a good cause if you learn from it. That’s how you hone your skills — through continual application and real-world use. It’s often said that saints engage in introspection, while sinners run the world. Think about that.

In a rapidly changing world of technology, globalization and shifting social mores, expertise is an ongoing act, not a static position. How do you know you’re an “expert”? Because people cite you, quote you, defer to you, ask your opinion and use you as the standard. Even if all that only happens within your own organization.

2. Track Record

Nothing succeeds in promoting credibility like results that others can see, touch, feel, hear and smell. In other words, don’t just talk the talk; walk the walk. Track records don’t require uniform and unblemished successes. In fact, it’s better that they show variation. The idea is to constantly improve.

The best batters in baseball, on average, only get a hit in every three at bats. The key idea regarding looking back on your successes and failures is to build on your strengths. We spend too much time evaluating defeats and focusing on correcting weaknesses. Determine how and why you were successful, and seek to replicate that success. Weaknesses will simply atrophy.

3. Interpersonal Skills/Respect

By “respect,” I mean not merely affection. No one respects people who can only win if someone else loses, or who see life as a zero-sum game. You don’t have to like everyone, but you do have to remain civil. When you share, you gain respect; you also gain respect when you accept responsibility, when you volunteer and when you effectively negotiate and honestly resolve conflict.

Engendering respect requires the savvy use of interpersonal skills. The ways in which you communicate with colleagues, associates and clients play a large role in credibility and prove your ability (or inability) to create allies instead of adversaries.

Advice from a Yogi

An important factor in leveraging these three components is the willingness to coach others. Coaching builds your expertise, your track record and your respect. It’s like “one stop shopping.” As Yogi Bhajan, the late spiritual leader and entrepreneur who introduced kundalini yoga to the United States, once said: “If you want to learn something, read about it. If you want to understand something, write about it. If you want to master something, teach it.”

How to Persuade Large Groups of People

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You know the feeling: You must make a big presentation to a group of stakeholders or potential partners and convince them to support your idea or do business with you.

Presuming you’ve done all the necessary prep work — researching your audience and its needs, developing your case and having the data to back up your pitch — you’re not done yet.

Think about your audience and determine how you want them to act upon conclusion of your presentation. Do you want people to donate money to your new fundraising effort? Spend time thinking about alternatives to reducing staff in the marketing department? Leave the room more fired up than ever to go out and acquire new high-end clients?

Doing that kind of persuading requires the need to motivate and move people, giving them reason to believe in your cause.  You would be dumbfounded to know how many presenters fail to articulate this in their own minds. If they can’t even do that, how are they expected to persuade others?

So make sure, to paraphrase Renée Zellweger’s character, Dorothy, in Jerry McGuire, you have them at “hello.” Tell a little joke, share a fascinating fact or scintillating statistic, ask a rhetorical question, or recite a short anecdote about something that happened to you on the way to work this morning. Whatever you do, stay away from kindergarten teacher and rock star banter: “I can’t hear you!”

Then quickly move on to presenting your case, introducing third-party research to support your statements and citing examples to provide context for your specific audience. Take time during your presentation to answer questions that arise, which suggests you’re open to what others have to say and are not driven exclusively by your own agenda. Asking your audience to save all questions until the end of your presentation dilutes your message and significantly diminishes your persuasive potential — especially if there are a lot of questions.

Responding to questions throughout rather than at the end allows you to conclude with a memorable call to action and an anecdote.

Then, all you need to do is wait for that “yes.”