How Do You Know Your Persuasive Attempts Are Working?

in , ,

How can you tell whether you’re making persuasion progress with your target in such areas as trust and credibility?

Here’s how: Consistently observe the other person’s actions — or inactions — to determine the degree to which you’re winning him or her over.

Here are seven sure signs things are going your way:

  1. Your target volunteers information that is not requested.
  2. Your target shares humor.
  3. Your target accepts pushback and contrary views.
  4. Your target requests advice from you.
  5. Your target shares confidential information.
  6. Your target meets deadlines and respects financial limitations.
  7. Your target initiates friendly follow up and continued contact.

Now, keep things going!

Jim Morrison Was Right: People Are Strange

in

Jim Morrison, late singer for the iconic Sixties rock band The Doors, wrote a song with that line and that title for the group’s 1967 album, Strange Days. Why are people strange? Because we’re all different, that’s why. In some cases, we’re very different.

The people you’re attempting to persuade — your targets — all possess personality, gender and generational differences. Your persuasion success is built on understanding and tapping into these diverse differences and preferences. Such differences impact how you behave, what sort of case you make, the language you use and the references you choose.

Here are six persuasion points to consider:

  1. People either have a tendency to ask or tell, to respond or not. On which personality plane is your target operating?
  2. Every generation has a different frame of reference. For Millennials, a “45” has always been a gun and never a record, and Elton John was never a rock star.
  3. Men and women operate differently. Acting as if they don’t is just silly.
  4. When responding to a particular situation, act like a chameleon and be ready for whatever comes your way.
  5. Technology changes quickly, but people don’t.
  6. Ask yourself, “If others knew what I was trying to do, would they let me?” If you can respond with a “yes,” that means you’re headed in the right direction.

The more you know about your targets, the less strange they will seem.

I am stuck on Band-Aid …

in

Hearing “yes” is largely about appealing to the other person’s enlightened self-interest. And one of the ways to effectively appeal to that is through the use of language, specifically a figure of speech called “chiasmus.”

A chiasmus is a verbal pattern in which the second half of a phrase is balanced against the first, with key elements being reversed. While you may not be familiar with the term, chances are you’ve encountered it.

For example, even the most challenged U.S. history high school student has more than likely heard references to John F. Kennedy’s iconic 1961 inaugural address, where he stated that people should, “Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country.”

Or, if you’re a fan of advertising jingles, “I am stuck on Band-Aid, ’cause Band-Aid’s stuck on me.” Not as profound as JFK, but it nonetheless provides a memorable chiasmus example.

Want to improve the likelihood of a co-worker getting on board with your initiative? Use a chiasmus.

“Steve, it isn’t so much what you can do for the project – although that’s substantial. You really need to consider what the project can do for you.”

Here’s why that approach is so effective: What you’re really “selling” is transformation. You’re showing Steve how, by participating in this project, he’s actually signing up for an improved skill set, greater visibility in the company and perhaps a starring role in a career-making project.

This works, because it appeals to the other person’s enlightened self-interest – potentially creating a newer, more interesting, more skilled, more visible, more respected and more marketable … him.

Want to get more people to say, “Yes!” to you more often?

in , ,

Dress better. A study analyzing people’s inclination to follow a jaywalker dangerously crossing traffic proved very interesting.  Dressed in coveralls and work boots, no one followed the lawbreaker. The same person dressed in a three piece suit, had people following him like the dram major of a marching band.

Some experts suggest you should dress ten percent better than the person you want to persuade. I’m not sure how you would quantify that sort of sartorial precision, but I do know you should look the best you can. When you dress well, are pressed and clean and you’re your shoes are shined, people will follow your lead.

Be assertive, not aggressive. Here’s how:

in , , ,

Be assertive but not aggressive. Assertive people are admired and live to persuade again, and again. Aggressive people are told, “We like your passion.” which is corporate-speak for, “We think you’ve lost your mind!”

How can you be assertive, but not aggressive?

Take two shots, then salute. When you have an idea you’re trying to get buy in for, use appropriate strategies and tactics to best increase your chances. If you get turned down, have another run at it. If you get turned down again, salute and move on. You’ll be seen as ambitious, yet reasonable (You can always resurface this idea at another more propitious time).

If you hold on to your position like a hoarder clenches a 1983 People magazine, you’re going to start to hear your co-workers say, “We like your passion.“

Want to be more convincing?

in , ,

Be convinced.

A biotech marketing director asked, “Mark, how to I get my team on board with a program I don’t believe in?”

My immediate, slightly sarcastic, mental response: These aren’t magic methods.

My actual response: You can’t.

Your external actions and internal thoughts must be in alignment. I call this state congruency. Not to get all “West coast woo-woo” on you, but mental conflict can be felt by those you’re attempting to persuade.

The fundamental persuasion heuristic is this: If you want to be convincing, you have to be convinced.