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How Your Face Can Betray Your Words

A biotech marketing director once asked me, “Mark, how do I get my team onboard with a program I don’t believe in?”

My immediate, slightly sarcastic mental response: There’s no magical approach.

My actual response: “You can’t.”

Your external actions and internal thoughts must be aligned. I call this “congruency.”

A Harley-Davidson dealer wanted my help increasing sales of new motorcycles at his store. So I did what consultants do: I evaluated the market, employee skills, dealership processes and the like. Improvements could be made, but something else was wrong. When I casually asked the motorcycle sales manager what kind of motorcycle he rode, he replied, “Oh, I don’t ride motorcycles. They’re overpriced and dangerous.”

Mystery solved.

If that sales manager didn’t support what he was selling, how in the world could he convince his customers? If you are promoting a product, an idea or an initiative, ethically you need to believe in it. And even if we were to put the ethical issue aside for a moment, if you don’t believe in what you’re talking about, your facial expressions and body language will give you away.

In 1966, two social scientists by the last names of Haggard and Isaacs filmed husbands and wives engaging in difficult conversations. Who manages the money? How should we raise the kids? All sorts of emotionally charged issues were discussed during these therapy sessions. During the exchanges, Haggard and Isaacs took notes on even the briefest facial expressions made by the couples and discovered what they called “micromomentary facial expressions” — commonly referred to today as microexpressions.

Microexpressions last between 1/5 and 1/25 of a second and typically occur during high-stakes conversations when someone has something to lose or gain, and at least one person is attempting to suppress his or her true feelings about something. Subsequently, the other person almost always senses this disconnect.

Is your mouth saying something different than your face?

Five Ways to Influence Your Peers at Work

Now that we’ve addressed persuading superiors and subordinates, there remains one last group of targets to address: your peers. This is known as “influencing sideways.” Peer pressure is among the strongest of all propulsions in the workplace (and elsewhere). How can you leverage it? Here are five ideas:

1. Cultivate favors by doing favors.

You can make people “offers they can’t refuse,” because they are obligated to you. But this requires you to do well by others first, creating — say it with me —reciprocity. A quid pro quo. Whose quid and whose quo can be worked out later. People respond to obligations.

2. Link agendas.

Strive to forge common goals in an attempt to initiate persuasion. Employees at a tech startup, for example, might think they serve two very different customers: the hardware providers and the end users. But there clearly exist areas of overlap, such as eye-popping graphics and the goal of seamless integration. Find the common areas of fulfillment with peers to then share ideas and resources. These may involve people, money, information or facilities. The cost to you is minimal; the effect potentially substantial.

3. Leverage loss aversion.

This may sound harsh, but leveraging the aversion to loss is a key factor in navigating peer pressure. Helping peers feel protected from loss of status, talent, income and market opportunities can significantly impact your desired outcome. Allow people to see that your intentions are comforting, not threatening, and they’ll remember.

4. Covet your credibility.

The fastest path to “yes” is your credibility. The more your peers can rely on your past behavior, track record, honesty and commitment, the more likely they will be to accept your claims, offers and pitches. Reliable inertia takes over when your peers have experienced positive outcomes with you in the past.

5. Be fair.

Ensure that, in reality and in perception, the support you seek is not unilateral. Make it clear and obvious that no one (most importantly, you!) is taking advantage of anyone else. Insist on establishing a win/win dynamic.

What Is Your Influence Quotient?

Horsepower. Pull. Sway. These should be words used to describe your organizational influence.

Readers of my book, Persuasion Equation, know that I consider “persuasion” to be an action and “influence” to be a state or a condition. Influence reflects the ability to create an effect without exerting an effort. The ability to persuade depends significantly on your influence and, frankly, has precious little to do with your title or ranking in an organization.

Below are 11 ways in which you can evaluate your IQ — that is, your influence quotient. Don’t overthink your answers, and don’t search for surgical precision. Just answer the questions, completely and honestly.

1. Do others in your organization regularly ask for your opinion?

Never                            Sometimes                                         Often
1         2          3          4          5          6          7          8          9          10

2. Have you been asked repeatedly to present your ideas, projects, or results to your organizations’ senior management?

Never                            Sometimes                                         Often
1         2          3          4          5          6          7          8          9          10

3. Have you been cited in outside media for your positive contributions?

Never                            Sometimes                                         Often
1         2          3          4          5          6          7          8          9          10

4. Have you been asked to speak to industry trade groups?

Never                            Sometimes                                         Often

1         2          3          4          5          6          7          8          9          10

5. Are you invited to weigh in on future company initiatives?

Never                            Sometimes                                         Often

1         2          3          4          5          6          7          8          9          10

6. Have others asked you to informally mentor them?

Never                            Sometimes                                         Often

1          2          3          4          5          6          7          8          9          10

7. Do your peers repeatedly use you as a sounding board?

Never                            Sometimes                                         Often

1         2          3          4          5          6          7          8          9          10

8. Have you been formally asked to play a role in your organization’s leadership development?

Never                            Sometimes                                         Often

1          2          3          4          5          6          7          8          9          10

9. Are you actively involved in the design and execution of company or workgroup policy?

Never                            Sometimes                                         Often
1         2          3          4          5          6          7          8          9          10

10. Are you invited by powerful people in your organization to get together socially?

Never                            Sometimes                                         Often

1         2          3          4          5          6          7          8          9          10

11. Do you believe people speak about you in an overwhelmingly positive way when you’re not present?

Never                           Sometimes                                          Often

1         2          3          4          5          6          7          8          9          10

What Your Score Means

Add up your score, and divide by 11.  This is your Influence Quotient.

If you score 1 to 3, your Influence Quotient is Low.

If you score 3 to 6, your Influence Quotient is Medium.

If your score 6 to 8, your Influence Quotient is High.

If your influence score is more than 8, your IQ is Superior.

Does the title on your business card have something to do with your organizational pull? Of course, it does. But it’s not the most powerful. People who rely on their position for their power base typically don’t enjoy great careers. Which is why no matter where you are in your organization (or even if you are an entrepreneur), this test can help determine the way to get more sway.

Building Epic Credibility: Be as Honest as Abe and as Brilliant as Einstein

Why is credibility so important in today’s workplace? Well, consider what having credibility enables you to do:

  • Persuade people more easily
  • Influence more people
  • Reduce conflict
  • Complete projects successfully
  • Improve your team’s reputation

Easy to lose and tough to build, credibility ranks as one of the primary characteristics of a successful project manager and leader. A basic determination of credibility can be found in the way you honestly answer this question:

Do people believe what you say?

Here is a systematic approach to determining your own professional credibility:

1. If you and your abilities are unknown, and you therefore have low credibility, spend time building relationships.

That’s what nearly every startup company has done. Find a niche and develop a smart customer base. New employees in new industries must do the same thing. Discover what customers value, their personality traits and how they process information. Cater your strategies, conversations and behavior to them, and back up your insights and recommendations with third-party data such as articles, books and outside experts.

2. Despite being well known among your customers, perhaps a recent incident has resulted in your low credibility.

Rebuild the relationship. Start small and make that phone call. Demonstrate your abilities, keep your promises and communicate. Communication is at the core of leadership credibility. One of the highest-profile examples of this happened five years ago, when the on-demand streaming and DVD-by-mail service Netflix relaunched the DVD side of the business as Qwikster. This news came after customers overwhelmingly criticized a recent price increase. Netflix CEO Reed Hastings took to Netflix’s blog. “I messed up,” he wrote. “I owe everyone an explanation.” Less than a month later, he blogged again, announcing the quick end of Qwikster. Today, Netflix has more than 81 million members in over 190 countries enjoying 125 million hours of TV shows and movies every day.

3. You and your abilities might be unknown, but you still pack high credibility — either because of significant word of mouth or your connection to a popular brand.

If Best Buy were to name a new CEO, for example, that individual might (or might not) have name recognition, but he or she would still need prove himself or herself in the new position — despite being affiliated with one of the highest-profile retailers in the country. In your case, you may have built a reputation of being knowledgeable and dependable even by customers who don’t know you! While this is unquestionably a desirable situation, don’t consider it a free pass to great customer relationships.

4. If customers know you and your abilities, and you therefore have high credibility, congratulations.

This is what everyone should strive to attain, because it means that a customer or coworker has dealt with you before and realized positive results. It means that people trust your input and your performance so much that they ask for and heed your advice wholeheartedly. Steve Jobs had that kind of pull. He created a demographic of computer consumers that wait in line for an entire day to purchase a product they have never touched or even seen up close, simply because it has the Apple logo on it. But beware: Customer and colleague relationships are precious and should never be taken advantage of by abusing credibility to sell unnecessary, unwanted or low-quality items. Remember Apple’s short-lived MobileMe subscription service? That was a disaster, and Jobs had the credibility behind him to admit it.

How Telling Stories Can Help Convince Customers

I love to tell stories. Why? Because stories are the key to persuading others.

In a selling environment, I call them “situational sales success stories.” Or S3 stories, for short. These are pre-created retellings of how you helped buyers or colleagues improve their condition in given situations. Here’s an example:

“What you’re saying is exactly what Steve Buyer said, not more than two months ago.
[Grab your listener right away with a relatable opener.]

“His company was struggling, its stock value had sunk, key managers ditched the organization, and all rational indicators told him not to make any big decisions. Then, his firm experienced a product recall. That’s when Steve and his colleagues decided to invest in their business, instead of cutting back.
[Include at least one element of surprise.]

“We put together a performance initiative designed to keep revenue flat but increase margins. Morale improved, the company attracted some talented new people, and now, although not completely back to business as usual, it’s well on its way — all because Steve and his team turned left when his competitors would have turned right.”
[Use a repeatable phrase for emphasis.]

The following are five must-have situational sales success stories to keep in your arsenal at all times, regardless of what you sell or who you’re trying to persuade. I’ll provide the bones; you flesh them out:

  1. A buyer who never used your company’s products or services is now one of your biggest fans.
  2. A client who faithfully used the “other brand” until you showed him the light.
  3. A customer who was loyal to only one method until you showed him another option.
  4. A buyer who couldn’t afford your best offer, but you helped his company figure out a way both of you could still do business together.
  5. A customer who initially wanted to delay purchasing until you proved why buying now was a wiser decision.

Now that you have some ideas for situational sales success stories, consider ways to refine them and make them more exciting. Take the above example and create one powerful, truth-based story for each of the five situations, and then write them down. Make them all capable of being told in less than 25 seconds. Require every salesperson on staff to learn the five stories and be able to recite them. Test employees and help them internalize high-quality S3 stories.

Remember, you can share these stories face-to-face in one-on-one situations, in larger group settings such as a business meeting, as videos, via e-mail, blogs and text messages, on social media (Twitter should challenge even the strongest tellers of S3 stories) and by using that old-fashioned device everybody once called a telephone.

Killer Credibility: 7 Ways to Achieve It, Keep It and Win It Back

What can I do to improve my credibility? It’s a question I’m asked a lot, and there is more than one correct answer. In fact, here are seven ways to build and keep — and, if necessary, win back — credibility:

1. Dress better. Let’s face it: We all are in the image business. If you want to be taken seriously, dress for success. That means you should look clean and neat, and wear shined shoes and clothes that fit well.

2. Speak better. The occasional colloquialism is OK, but if those are the only things that come out of your mouth, you could find yourself up for a role in the next season of Swamp People.

3. Know your stuff. Credibility starts with competency. Learn as much as you can from every verbal exchange. In my book, Accelerate the Sale: Kick-Start Your Personal Selling Style to Close More Sales, Faster, I asked executives about their greatest sale. The most frequent response I received? “My wife agreed to marry me.” (True story.) But the response that left the biggest impression on me was the guy who said, “My next one. Because I’ll know more, be able to do more and be able to help the customer more.” That’s a big idea.

4. Admit when you’ve erred. When you make a mistake, simply say, “I made a mistake. I’m sorry.” Then move on.

5. Channel Johnny Carson. Johnny Carson is one of my all-time favorite entertainers. When a guest would mention a piece of knowledge outside of Johnny’s realm, he didn’t try to take over the conversation or “one up” the guest. He simply said, “I did not know that.” That’s what I say now. You should, too.

6. Practice convergent validity. Make sure you have the correct information. Check with three different sources to get their take on a given situation. You’ll be shocked by how opinions vary. Doing this will help expand your network of contacts, better grasp the situation and make stronger decisions. And that, my friends, will give you greater credibility.

7. Guard your credibility. Your credibility is a precious commodity. Protect it with all you’ve got. Late in his baseball career, while playing injured, Joe DiMaggio still went all out during every at bat and every inning in the field. When a teammate said to him, “Hey, Joe, you’re hurt, take it easy,” Joe replied, “I can’t. There might be someone in the stands seeing me for the first time, and I don’t want to let them down.” Not a bad mindset for the rest of us.

Here’s to your credibility!

(Photo by Jared Erondu via Unsplash)

Why More Than One Point of View Is Critical to Persuasion Success

The weather in Wisconsin is finally turning spring-like, and this past weekend’s 80-degree temperatures reminded me of a funny story about persuasion:

Although my wife and I enjoy fishing together, we are the antithesis of Bassmasters participants in that we fish from a pontoon boat complete with snacks and frequent naps. We basically put our living room on the water and call it sport. The one thing we do share with the pros is fancy “fish finder” technology. We, too, have one of these expensive black boxes that provide sonar‐created pictures of what’s under the boat.

Fast‐forward to a warm early-June morning as Amy piloted our pontoon living room through a tight channel on Wisconsin’s Whitewater Lake. While she kept a careful eye on the finder, I busied myself preparing the tackle for our day on the water. “Mark, we need to stop here,” Amy said excitedly, “I’ve never seen so many fish!”

“But we never fish here,” I growled like the character Quint in the movie Jaws, as I made my way to examine the sonar image.

It was an unbelievable sight. The underwater world around us was exploding with fish. Big fish, little fish and the most picturesque drop‐offs and covers. It was amazing. This was going to be a great day.

After two hours of fishless‐fishing we couldn’t understand what we were doing wrong. I studied the finder, still teeming with aquatic life.

We were fishing the simulation.

Yep, we had just spent two hours fishing the computer‐generated quintessential fishing paradise created by the marketing geniuses at Garmin!

All of which brings me to this: If you want to hear “yes” more often, you need to have the right “read” on the territory. To do that, practice convergent validity — that is, the idea of getting three points of view before you make a decision or take action. Don’t just take one customer’s viewpoint on your new product or service; get input from three customers. If there is a performance issue with your sales process, observe it for yourself, ask a customer about it and then go to someone else, too.

Trust me. The fishing will be better.

How Do You Know Your Persuasive Attempts Are Working?

How can you tell whether you’re making persuasion progress with your target in such areas as trust and credibility?

Here’s how: Consistently observe the other person’s actions — or inactions — to determine the degree to which you’re winning him or her over.

Here are seven sure signs things are going your way:

  1. Your target volunteers information that is not requested.
  2. Your target shares humor.
  3. Your target accepts pushback and contrary views.
  4. Your target requests advice from you.
  5. Your target shares confidential information.
  6. Your target meets deadlines and respects financial limitations.
  7. Your target initiates friendly follow up and continued contact.

Now, keep things going!