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How Your Face Can Betray Your Words

A biotech marketing director once asked me, “Mark, how do I get my team onboard with a program I don’t believe in?”

My immediate, slightly sarcastic mental response: There’s no magical approach.

My actual response: “You can’t.”

Your external actions and internal thoughts must be aligned. I call this “congruency.”

A Harley-Davidson dealer wanted my help increasing sales of new motorcycles at his store. So I did what consultants do: I evaluated the market, employee skills, dealership processes and the like. Improvements could be made, but something else was wrong. When I casually asked the motorcycle sales manager what kind of motorcycle he rode, he replied, “Oh, I don’t ride motorcycles. They’re overpriced and dangerous.”

Mystery solved.

If that sales manager didn’t support what he was selling, how in the world could he convince his customers? If you are promoting a product, an idea or an initiative, ethically you need to believe in it. And even if we were to put the ethical issue aside for a moment, if you don’t believe in what you’re talking about, your facial expressions and body language will give you away.

In 1966, two social scientists by the last names of Haggard and Isaacs filmed husbands and wives engaging in difficult conversations. Who manages the money? How should we raise the kids? All sorts of emotionally charged issues were discussed during these therapy sessions. During the exchanges, Haggard and Isaacs took notes on even the briefest facial expressions made by the couples and discovered what they called “micromomentary facial expressions” — commonly referred to today as microexpressions.

Microexpressions last between 1/5 and 1/25 of a second and typically occur during high-stakes conversations when someone has something to lose or gain, and at least one person is attempting to suppress his or her true feelings about something. Subsequently, the other person almost always senses this disconnect.

Is your mouth saying something different than your face?

What Are You Drinking? How Senses Affect Persuasion

 

Did you know that the type of beverage you drink, the surface of the chair on which you sit and the color of your clothing all play a role in getting to “yes” (or “no”) faster?

Thalma Lobel, a Ph.D. and director of the child development center at Tel Aviv University, claims that decisions, judgments and values are derived as much from outside factors as they are from our brains.

In her 2014 book, Sensation: The New Science of Physical Intelligence, Lobel provides scientific evidence of how targets respond to common situations that, on the surface, appear insignificant. Here are some of her key observations:

  • People drinking warm beverages such as coffee or tea are judged by their targets to be more generous, caring and good-natured than those enjoying cold beverages such as soda or iced coffee. The concept of “warm” and “cold” extends beyond the drink and transfers to the individual drinking it. While what you say is important, so is what you drink.
  • That “warm/cold” mentality is at play in other facets of our lives, too. Take the chair you opt to sit in while making your pitch. Studies suggest harder chairs make people tougher negotiators, while softer chairs reduce their aggressiveness. Hmmm. Maybe you should add a soft and comfy chair to your office for guests…
  • Researchers found that men consider women who wear a red blouse (opposed to a blue, green or gray blouse) consistently sexier and more attractive. That kind of social proof can easily transfer to persuasion situations. Red represents strength, power and energy, regardless of gender. Wear it when you need to hear “yes.”

 

How Color and Taste Impact ‘Yes’ and ‘No’

Did you know that the type of beverage you drink, the surface of the chair on which you sit, and the color of clothing you wear all play a role in getting to “yes” (or “no”) faster?

Thalma Lobel, a Ph.D. and director of the child development center at Tel Aviv University, claims that decisions, judgments and values are derived as much from outside factors as they are from our brains.

In her 2014 book, Sensation: The New Science of Physical Intelligence, Lobel provides scientific evidence of how targets respond to common situations that, on the surface, appear insignificant. Here are just a few examples:

• People drinking warm beverages such as coffee or tea are judged by their targets to be more generous, caring, and good-natured than those enjoying such cold beverages as soda or iced coffee. The concept of “warm” and “cold” extends beyond the drink and transfers to the individual drinking it.

• That “warm/cold” mentality is at play in other facets of our lives, too. Take the chair you opt to sit in while making your pitch. Studies suggest harder chairs make people tougher negotiators, while softer chairs reduce their aggressiveness. Hmmm. Maybe you should add a soft and comfy chair to your office for guests…

• Researchers found that men consider women who wear a red blouse (opposed to a blue, green or gray blouse) consistently more attractive. Red represents strength, power and energy. Wear it when you need to hear “yes.”

What are some sensory indicators that help you hear “yes” more often?

(Photo by Ryan McGuire via Gratisography)