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Provide an ‘A-ha’ Moment for Greater Persuasion Success

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One of the surest ways to remain in control of a persuasion situation is to provide your target with a moment in which he scratches his head and says, “That’s an intriguing idea. I’ve never thought of it like that.”

A-ha.

All of a sudden, you’re adding value to the conversation. You’re enabling someone to learn something he didn’t know before speaking with you. This is a major component of persuasion success. So practice engineering those “a-ha” moments with a series of “what if” questions. This type of inquiry allows you and your target to suspend reality and consider the possibilities.

B2B questions might include:

  • What if you expanded internationally?
  • What if you had lower volume, but higher profitability?
  • What if your salespeople were relieved of their administrative duties?
  • What if you reduced your advertising budget and increased your sales force?

B2C questions might include:

  • What if you could have the new model, and not see any increase in your monthly payment?
  • What if we came to you, and you never had to leave your home or office to do business with us?
  • What if we could assure you that you would always have someone to call if you need assistance?

It’s easy to come up with “what if” questions, based on the circumstances surrounding your target. Such thought-provoking inquiries challenge a buyer’s conventional wisdom. If you can identify sacred cows and change the way someone thinks about them, both of you may be leading those cows to the slaughter. (And that’s a good thing.) There’s no need to be rude or unreasonably abrupt, but don’t be afraid to take a risk and challenge convention.

After the “what if” questions, the next-best way to challenge convention is to simply ask, “Why?” Why does your target distribute products the way it does? Why is customer feedback considered so important – or, conversely, not at all? Why are sales efforts concentrated only in certain areas?

Help provide moments of clarity — and then watch your persuasion success factor increase.

Persuasion Power: Building a Strong Business Case

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Building your business case can achieve skyrocketing persuasion results.

It all begins with such quantitative actions as doing due diligence, then measuring return on investment and knowing how much you need to sell. Then, you must create positive emotional links.

Finally, put everything together to create both real and hypothetical case studies to make your point. To best convince others that your business case is relevant and powerful, consider these six techniques:

1. Draw from other industries.

Demonstrate how and when your idea has worked elsewhere and why it’s likely to work in this situation. In other words, show precedence.

2. Provide relevant examples.

They should that either support why quick action is necessary or why a more measured approach is appropriate.

3. Create “positional critical mass.”

This means that you’ve focused your early arguments on the movers and shakers — people who can champion your cause and best rally support. It also helps when formal (hierarchical) and informal (popular colleagues) individuals support the position you espouse.

4. Cite and utilize experts (living and deceased).

They can be leveraged to help cut through uncertainty. If I were attempting to persuade about technology, I’d likely cite Walt Mossberg, former Wall Street Journal columnist and co-founder of the AllThingsD, Recode, D & Code Conferences. But if my persuasion priority involved organizational strategy, I’d reference the late management consultant Peter Drucker.

5. Provide validation and verification.

Citing the right metrics (quantitative help) will justify and validate your persuasion priority. For example, if you have 20 percent more clients six months from now than you do today, you’ll know your organization’s referral initiative will have been successful.

6. Argue against yourself.

People routinely write books on both sides of an issue. Academic debating requires the ability to take either side of an issue and prove or disprove it. Make the anticipated arguments against your own case and rebut them, so that you’re prepared for the crucible.

Remember: There are quantitative and qualitative aspects to any persuasive argument. Not only can’t you afford to omit either dynamic, but you must appreciate the supporting role they play for each other.

Mastering that synthesis is the key to becoming a powerful persuader.

How to Give an Honest Self-Assessment

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In two previous posts, I shared 12 keys to self-persuasion success.

Now, I’d like to add one more: Create an honest self-assessment.

Begin by developing a document for your eyes only. No one else will ever see it, so make a list of your strengths (how well you deal with people, perhaps, or your ability to solve problems) and your weaknesses (your dislike for conflict or disdain for details). Then, add either a piece of positive evidence or a potential solution after each one. Some examples might look like this:

  • “I keep my promises and am excellent at maintaining long-term relationships, as evidenced by my 10-year relationship with our firm’s top client.”
  • “I am independent and can get myself out of most jams. Many people have contributed to my success, for which I am thankful. At the same time, I need to recognize and admire the nature of my accomplishments.”
  • “When meeting new clients, I get nervous and need to recognize this is a natural and normal reaction. (They’re probably nervous, too!) I will go into these situations with some prepared conversation items and questions, and I will concentrate on being interested in what clients are saying.”
  • “Although I am typically calm and relaxed in social situations, I sometimes make a social blunder, say the wrong thing or use a word incorrectly. But so does everyone else. Going forward, I’ll just make a joke and say, ‘Am I having a senior moment already?’ ”

Remember that nobody is either all right or all wrong. (Even Gandhi probably had a bad habit or two.) But with an honest assessment and a frequent review of what you do well, what you don’t and what actions you can take, you’ll be on your way to destroying that pathological critic.

The psychology of self-persuasion is all about consistency. You never want to get too high when you hear “yes” or too low when you get a “no.”

If You Don’t Believe in Your Idea, Nobody Else Will

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A biotech marketing director once asked me, “Mark, how do I get my team onboard with a program I don’t believe in?”

“You can’t,” I quickly replied.

Your external actions and internal thoughts must be aligned. I call this “congruency.”

Years ago, a Harley-Davidson dealer wanted my help increasing sales of new motorcycles at his store. So I did what consultants do: I evaluated the market, employee skills and dealership processes. Improvements could be made, but something else was wrong. When I casually asked the motorcycle sales manager what kind of motorcycle he rode, he replied, “Oh, I don’t ride motorcycles. They’re overpriced and dangerous.”

Mystery solved.

If that sales manager didn’t support what he was selling, how in the world could he convince his customers? If you are promoting a product, an idea or an initiative, you need to believe in it from an ethical standpoint. And even if we were to put the ethical issue aside for a moment, if you don’t believe in what you are talking about, your facial expressions and body language will give you away.

This is why I always say the most fundamental persuasion principle is congruency: If you want to be convincing, you have to be convinced.

How to Set Your Persuasion Priority

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Let’s consider your career. If, in your professional endeavors, you could flick a switch and convince one person to do just one thing, what would that be?

Do you want to get the cool assignment? Bring a new product to market? Overhaul the customer service department? Win the promotion? Land a big-name client? Secure a budget increase? Each of these is what I call a “persuasion priority.”

Once you’ve determined the answer to that question, ask yourself this question: Who is the one person you want to say yes to what?

(When setting persuasion priorities, it’s often more effective to state them in the affirmative, even if you’re attempting to dissuade someone. For example, if you want your target to not choose a particular vendor, phrase your priority in the affirmative: “I would like Steve to weigh other options before choosing his vendor.”)

Before you answer the above persuasion priority question, consider the four persuasion priority criteria. Your persuasion priority must be:

  • Meaningful: Important to you and your organization
  • Significant: Large enough to make a difference in your life and workplace
  • Realistic: But not so large that it’s unattainable
  • “Others” Oriented: Because you get ahead by improving the condition of others

Be specific, too. You don’t want to generalize with a statement such as, “I’d like my boss to give me more responsibility.” That’s too imprecise. To increase your chances of persuasion success, specificity is crucial: “I want my boss to give me responsibility for the Latin American project.” 

Don’t say this: “I want my senior vice president to add some people to my staff.” Instead, say this: “I want my senior vice president to approve five key new hires for my department next quarter.” 

Stop reading right now and write down your persuasion priority. Who is the one person you want to do what?

Of course, at any given time, you’ll have multiple issues and objectives for which you seek agreement. But keeping your persuasion priority top of mind will significantly increase your chances of getting to “yes.” And if you’ve chosen your objective carefully, achieving it will have a dramatic and overwhelmingly positive impact on your career — and perhaps your life.

What Does Negative Self-Talk Sound Like?

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Negative self-talk can be disastrous for your persuasion attempts. Why? I’ll let the author of one of my favorite books explain:

“A man’s mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild. But whether cultivated or neglected, it must and will, bring forth. … Just as a gardener cultivates his plot, keeping free of weeds … so may a man tend to the garden of his mind.”

Those words from philosopher James Allen in his 1902 book, As a Man Thinketh, still ring true more than 115 years later.

It’s easy enough to recognize behaviors that suggest self-doubt in persuasion situations; those thoughts lean heavily toward the negative and dwell on the conviction that your target will say “no.” Here are eight common thoughts that might run through your head:

  1. I will have made a fool of myself in front of everyone.
    In reality: Most people are so self-absorbed that they aren’t really paying any attention to you and your career.
  2. Everyone will know I failed.
    In reality: Some people might think, He sure is mixing things up with this proposal! I like it!
  3. It will be confirmation that I’m not competent.
    In reality: It will be confirmation that — at that moment, on that ask, in that instance — something wasn’t quite right with the way things were.
  4. My colleagues will laugh at me.
    In reality: Your colleagues may outwardly show signs of schadenfreude, but their internal dialogue is likely saying, I wish I would take more chances like her.
  5. I shouldn’t try to “rise above my station.”
    In reality: Why not “rise about your station”? The entire foundation of American society is built on a Horatio Alger rags-to-riches story.
  6. My nemesis will get the satisfaction knowing that I failed.
    In reality: Years from now, do you want to look back at your career and say, I really could have done big things, but I was worried about that unethical weasel in marketing?
  7. This will prove my boss was right when he said I shouldn’t try.
    In reality: Your boss is insecure and probably couldn’t function without you.
  8. Who am I to make this request?
    In reality: You are a magnificently created and sentient human being designed to reach your potential. The Greeks called it arête: living to one’s fullest potential.

Next time, we’ll analyze self-doubt. Until then, think positive thoughts.

 

How Do You Know When People Trust You?

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Some people say you can’t see trust. I disagree.

How can you tell whether you’re making progress in your persuasion attempts with a particular person — especially in such critical areas as trust and credibility? Try consistently observing a particular person’s actions (or inactions).

Here are seven pieces of evidence of things unseen:

1. Your target volunteers information that is not requested.

He might say this: “You’ll also need this, which is a study done a year ago. Not many people are familiar with it, but it’s exactly what you’ll need.”

 If your target didn’t trust you, you’d never see that report.

2. Your target shares humor.

He might say this: “Just to show you how my day is going: I had a lunch meeting and went to the wrong restaurant. And I was the guy who made the reservation!”

A comment like that shows the target is willing to let down his guard with you.

3. Your target accepts pushback and contrary views.

She might say this: “I see your point. I hadn’t thought of the impact on our European operations. I’ll have to reconsider that.”

This means your target is willing to consider different perspectives. On the other hand, when someone says, “I’ll keep that in mind,” he’s blowing you off.

4. Your targets requests your advice.

She might say this: “What’s your take on the new sales promotion?”

If the target didn’t trust you or find you credible, she wouldn’t ask for your opinion.

5. Your target shares confidential details.

He might say this: “The news hasn’t been released yet, but the head of R&D has been selected.”

This target knows you can be trusted. Don’t prove him wrong.

6. Your target meets deadlines and respects financial limitations.

When someone comes in on time and under budget, that means he respects you. Remember, once is an event, twice might be coincidence but three times is a trend.

7. Your target engages in friendly follow up and continuous contact.

Trusted colleagues stay in touch. It’s as simple as that.

Look for these subtly-disguised hints, and you’ll know when you’re making persuasion progress and when you need to step up your game.

New Year’s Resolution: Convince Yourself to Make 2018 Your Best Year Ever

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Whether attempting to sell more motorcycles, pursuing a new managerial position or convincing your boss to give you a raise, we all talk to ourselves before we take action. Many psychologists have labeled this ongoing mental dialogue as “self‐talk.”

These internal comments impact thoughts, emotions, actions, and ultimately careers and life itself. The following quote, attributed to everyone from Mahatma Gandhi to Ralph Waldo Emerson to the president of a leading supermarket chain, illustrates this cause and effect:

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

The point is made even more elegantly in one of my favorite books of all time, As a Man Thinketh, by philosopher James Allen, published just after the turn of the 20th century and reprinted many times. It may very well be the first “self‐help” book.

“Man is made or unmade by himself; in the armory of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself,” Allen wrote. “He also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace.”

What are you building? And how will your “self-talk” make 2018 your most successful year ever?

You Have More In Common With KISS Than You Think

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How do you define success? And what will you do — within reason, of course — to achieve it?

In the Aug. 31, 1972, East Coast edition of Rolling Stone magazine, an unknown musician named Peter Crisscoula ran an ad that read: “Drummer: Willing to do anything to make it.” Two guys looking to create a band, Stanley Eisen and Gene Klein, called Peter to explore his seriousness. “Would you wear a dress on stage?” they asked. “Would you wear high heels on stage?” “Would you wear … makeup?”

And the rest, as they say, is KISS-story.

Peter Crisscoula became Peter Criss, Stanley Eisen became Paul Stanley, and Gene KIein became Gene Simmons. The trio quickly added guitarist Ace Frehley, and the rock band KISS eventually wound up in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Perhaps that story of the band’s origins is apocryphal — but if it didn’t happen, it should have.

I’m not suggesting you dress like your favorite member of KISS on Casual Fridays, but those guys were willing to go beyond the norm and define new parameters for rock music and performance in the face of early ridicule.

But this week, ask yourself a critical question: What am I willing to do to make it?

(Flickr photo by Village9991)

Next Time You Hear ‘No,’ Ask Different Questions

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The next time a target says “no,” try asking different questions.

Now, these can be rhetorical or actual questions. Either way, they soften your response, give you time to think and usually are greeted in the affirmative. For example: “May I ask you a question … ?” “May I speak candidly … ?” “May I make a recommendation … ?” “May I offer another perspective … ?” “May I recommend another option … ?”

Compare “That’s exactly why you should do business with us!” with “If I may, that’s exactly why you should do business with us!”

Or “I’ll call you on the 12th …” with “Is it OK to call you on the 12th?”

The ‘Echoing’ Effect

One of my favorite techniques is called “echoing.” This is when you take the final words your target says and repeat them with an upward inflection to form a question. Then, the power of a pregnant pause elicits more information from the buyer. If your target says something like, “I want to make sure we’re making the right decision,” you respond with, “Right decision?”

Pause.

“Well, yeah, this is a big initiative for us, so we need to be smart.”

“Be smart?”

Pause.

“Sure. I know cheapest isn’t always the best; I just want to make sure we’re going with the right consulting firm. You’re a great company, and I trust you guys. But we need to succeed with this project; that’s what’s most important.”

See? You said four words, and this guy is talking himself into signing on the dotted line!

Ask the right questions at the right time, and hear yes more often.